Not far from the experience

of my own fraught times. in what I cannot talk about. The clauses signed to give gift in Voluntary times  ...

The smell and sights witnessed from more torrid times in my own life to others now. The squelchy foot steps of puss and goo on the floor from legs weeping profusely.  The disdain of smells. Those who have obviously not only not had company, but not much food too in a while proper.

I have to deal with behind the scenes conversations on what I have been up to ... or why I Do what I do within a hospital, that is surreal in itself. The quiet silence of my back story. Whilst I can discuss hoarding freely with the few I come across in life of travel, in the day to day requirement of life journeys.... the actual act of living in it is not entirely understood. These conversations of family members collecting more than they do. 

I oft have said I dangle in an unknown plateau not many get to experience... I deal with much in front of house too. Those who I will never get to disclose much. The turnover over in the last few seasons change of help much and many. Only a few patients are seen again. Obviously there are the regulars caught in the system of community care to acute and back again. My limited time means the pathways are not always crossed.

I get much appreciated, as much of those awkward expected needs beyond into the the servitude. The NHS gets as much ungratefulness as appreciation ... those that moan and get staff to do more than what is expected of them. It is no wonder some get the tough love balance in situ, or they get more worn out than need be to tend to them. The hierarchy of bedside care from the Consultants, Matrons, housekeeping to those keeping the areas stocked and cleaned ... 

And the volume of patients, the layout and placements of bed bays are not always conducive to the care in the side rooms at times. The mix of a high turnover unit where those needing more privacy in the right placement of bed. It is mixed too which means much embarrassment or turn of stomachs. The requests to assist in not seeing these moments. ... these environmental aspects of a hospital, you leave your personal space at the door. 

As my kin realise I have much to tell that I can generally, not individually from the innards of a much needed base of care ... from this time in my life ...