Talk in town

in the buzz of the proposed planning of the high buildings in the multi-storey and flats as part of the regeneration coming to a Kentish Town. 

The new age of land owners waltzing in, pretending to consult and go all through due process in all that. Then do it anyway. Where have we heard this before?  A mothers meeting in a Kernow town earlier this year.... and many others ... 

In the find

to the unwind ... the bitter mix ... the overload on one ... at least on hot days the curtains closed do not look out of place ... my sisterly advice to keep on the level ... 

The therapist who advised her I choose to live like that ... The ripple advice again on assumptions in analysis not knowing the full impact of my life ....this therapy on our Dads demise ... my sister too the impact of so much .... 

no wonder people swallow tabs and jump or hang or whatever method to leave this idiocratic world 

Ever so slowly wind

down of here again ... It takes awhile to get in the right place to travel ... I woke up and was adamant it was Wednesday, until finally bothering to check

I fly or not, through the home for the next batch of back to how I like it  ... And then remember my initial TT of daily reminders of basic functions, my first ever care cordinator took the time to do in broken English ... 

This happens with hoarding too busy for life. And for me of another and neglect easily one self in the daily care ... That most paramount basic of life that drifts off under the piles too ... 

The take the time to wash, dress, eat and tidy from the evening before or our case the day before ... then I tackle the devastation like remnants ... I have had some odd ideas, one being the death day items I have not let go yet, that are private things from that godforsaken time, that I do not need reminding ... Yet I did ... I need to be ready to do that ... Do I really need to see it ... ? Just to bin it ... may be ... a day to do that and deal with the aftermath by getting to do something pleasurable 

It is not staying or moving with me ....

The requirement of reinstatement of life before, in acknowledging the change from encumbering time, to a life beyond all that now in anew and more zesty now I can shake it all off 

Parameters

of silly not the dappy everyday occurrence  ... the overwhelmed disassociate... of pre during and post traumatic 

The clusters of time overwhelmed 

The light at the end of a squelching foreboding tunnel

More than the green moss the white chalk red clay 

More than the shadows of stalagmite and stalactite 

Removal

in gift ... in positivity a space of breathe appears ... whereby once it nearly took me too... a result in appearance of love of life once more ... I am still shredded of all I am asunder  ...  the last few days, the various times in a summer of memories enticing to all the senses one can feel more again ... 

..... reminds me so in the glory of such beauty where once the shadows of dark crept ... they can still descend and smother me ...

The Contents Spill ...

...the almighty reminder still about ... the stories one day I might get to help in those 

who may require assistancd in the glow moments I have in pieces 

then the other feelings descend ...  instead of transcending light the dark flutters in a spin 

The conflicts that bounce around in my life ... now instead of .... ... .. .